If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out who I am.
– Cyril Cusack
At the beginning of every new year, come January 1st, I notice the same trends. The gym is packed, diets are declared, and I see a sudden, suspicious rise in joggers outside the neighborhood. Left and right people are swearing off alcohol, toxic relationships, and bad spending habits (to name a few). Then February rolls around and all those things are a distant memory. Where are the joggers? Why am I the only one in the gym? Why is that girl back with that shitty boyfriend? I call these people New Year’s Resolutioners and I myself have been one of those people. However, this year I tried something new. I didn’t make ANY New Year’s Resolutions. Gasp. Make no mistake I still have a laundry lists of things I want to accomplish but I’m not convinced that New Year’s resolutions are the best way for me to make these things happen anymore. HOLLA if ya’ feel me.
A few weeks ago I kicked off 2019 by attending Intentionally Gray’s Sacred Intention Setting Night hosted by my amazing friend and fellow lady boss Lillian Charles.
Along with running an extremely successful personal styling business, Style Therapy, Lillian has been recognized by the City of Atlanta as one of eleven of the city’s top thought leaders and creative influencers and has served as a lululemon ambassador since February 2018. Through her 2nd brand and new company, Intentionally Gray, she hosts curated experiences focused on engaging in personal development.
So on January 13th, myself and about fifty other women, curled up with a glass of Scout & Cellar wine in the gorgeous Constellations library, candle-lit by Young Gentry, for an evening of slowing down, connecting to your SELF and exploring your intentions for 2019. The topic: Intentional Goal Setting … YES, every single one of us is capable of having anything and everything we want and to get it we need to intentionally navigate a path towards that life.
One of my favorite activities was a series of questions posed by Lillian that she guided us through. We worked on them privately and then a few ladies shared their thoughts as we worked the questions as a group. We created a list of values and made plans to spend time with ourselves on a weekly basis to build accountability for those values. Like a date with yo’self.
Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at the Dominican University in California, recently studied the art and science of goal setting. She found that you become 42% more likely to achieve your goals and dreams, simply by writing them down on a regular basis. That’s a lot of percent for not a lot of effort.
By going through these exercises in a safe supportive environment and by allowing myself to be vulnerable with other like-minded individuals I feel like I hit the refresh button on myself and my current frustrations. So instead of wanting arbitrary things with no plan of getting there, I have a system in place to build my goals and accountability.
Meet myself where I am and embody compassion and strength to do “the work”
Offer myself compassion and forgiveness as I strive to achieve my goals
Believe I am worth it
If I can imagine it, it is possible
Don’t be afraid to outgrow the people I spend time with, find new people
Strive to do better
You don’t have to wait until January 1st to turn the page or start a new chapter. Every day is a new opportunity to wake, start fresh, and try again. We don’t have to be perfect but let’s strive to do better.
Lillian closed by asking us to write down different words that describe what we want to embrace in 2019. Her word for 2019: SLAY. I immediately fell in love with this word. I use it all the time but didn’t think to make it a personal mantra. MIND-BLOWN. So my dear Lillian, I hope you don’t mind but I’m going to be borrowing your word for 2019 and adding it to my mix of goals and accomplishments because what I want to do in 2019 is SLAY.
Love, Lashes and Lipstick